Tea totler

Didg

It isn't every day you are joined for a cup of tea with a winged friend such as Didge, Casper and Erin's wee feathered friend. I am delighted with creative visits from friends, however I have discovered 'the drop' in visitor isn't everyones cup of tea at times.

Anxiety visits for longer than an expected cup of tea time when calling and doesn't know when to leave. I was anxious when Casper first asked if I wanted Didge on my shoulder, I cringed in fear as I have had crazy bird experiences as I happen to be the one they shit on, bite and attack out of everyone. I still have a sore spot on the top of my head when a bird attacked me in the middle of the ocean diving off Bird Island with old friends and one of my heroes. A sea bird dive bombed into my head, gashing blood into a shark infested water.. Anyway, my anxiety dissipated when I caved into Caspers re-assurance, thankfully Didge was a softie and his bites are more affectionate nibbles and he was polite enough to wait for Caspers shoulder to poo.

A differing anxiety that lurks carbon black in my house is the lingering anxiety that make you want to hide in a corner of the house and zone out from life, avoiding the dealings of even the simplest of tasks. A phone call interrupting the dark silence, a friend dropping in to say hello and use the phone, another friend later dropping in to give me a box of avocados, mandarins, rocket and eggs form her farm an adorable welcome in a usually open armed joy, however today I was eye strained, tear flooding breathless dehydrated. foul stenched mood not wanting company. These days are when I feel like the universe is making sure I don't sit in the mud and dry up, though the mud has stuck to my skin and cracked, I try to wade forth out of the blackness and into the browns.

I never realised unoraganised chaos disturbed some people. It is now that I see them effected, like my partner is, by 'the drop in' which I didn't even know had a term til' now and bringing me to this reflection.  I am one who used to love drop ins' and would drop in my self everywhere. I now see its adverse affects and yet I don't know how to change something I do myself.